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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785872">wow.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127'>newct127</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band), WAYV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>'00-'01 line are in one class and it's a mess during zoom waiting rooms, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Pining, Slice of Life, Texting, i don't know what else do we have here??, lots of minor ships that don't really matter, nohyuckyang being besties, ooh group chats, pandemic fic, renhyuck bickering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785872</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>Yangyang has a crush on his roommate. Obviously. How could he not?<br/>In between mornings in zoom classes and afternoons spent gaming, a faux pas makes things obvious and awkward between them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Liu Yang Yang/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>270</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>wow.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i don’t know who to blame for this. writing xiaoyang always is an impulse decision for me, and once i tweeted this idea there was no going back. if you follow me there then you've already read the opening scene and you might have seen me say how it ends too. apologies for both, i don't know chill sometimes<br/>this all started when i heard wow by zara larsson on accident, and then continued listening to it. now we’re here<br/>i hope you enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Day 217 of Yangyang simping over his roommate.”</p>
<p>Yangyang both loves and hates his friends. It changes, sometimes multiple times a day, depending on what mood they’re in.</p>
<p>He most definitely hates it when Chenle speaks ever since Yangyang let it slip that he thinks his roommate is hot. Chenle doesn’t shut up about it, he takes every opportunity he has to remind everyone. Even though that little remark about Xiaojun being hot is not just his opinion anymore. Ever since quarantine started and classes were transferred online, his friends had a few opportunities to actually see his roommate, which led to them agreeing with what was previously his opinion.</p>
<p>Xiaojun’s hot. That’s a straight up fact. He looks like a Sims character after you slide the ‘muscle’ toggle almost nearly to the max. Yangyang has noticed, though he hasn’t seen, per se. Xiaojun doesn’t show his body often. At least not on purpose. He has a handful of shirts that cling to his body in just the right way, and Yangyang’s a weak man. He can’t help but look. He might have a thing for muscles. He also might dream about getting manhandled every once in a while. But he’s doing his best not to expose himself, he can’t let Xiaojun know. At all. They work really well as roommates, he can’t ruin it.</p>
<p>“I thought I asked you to delete the calendar,” Jeno says, and Chenle rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>Jeno’s the most supportive out of all his friends, it’s not even a competition. He can’t say that Jeno doesn’t make fun of him sometimes, he does. He just knows when to do it and he doesn’t bring it up when Yangyang’s most embarrassed. Donghyuck might be his best friend, but Jeno is his favorite by a long shot.</p>
<p>Yangyang begins every school day in a zoom waiting room, hoping that Chenle won’t bring up the subject again. As the minutes pass, he becomes more hopeful that he won’t. Some days Chenle forgets to announce it, but he never forgets to keep track. And usually when he remembers, it’s when the waiting room is full and the only thing left to do is to wait for the professor to show up and start the class. That way everyone will know how long it has been, even the students who aren’t in the friend group.</p>
<p>Yangyang barely remembers a time when Chenle didn’t remind him that he has a crush. He barely remembers a time when he didn’t have the crush too.</p>
<p>“What if you asked me?” Chenle returns with a mischievous smile. Asking him won’t do anything. If they break into his apartment to delete it themselves, they have a bigger chance. Granted, Chenle not having a backup is another condition in order for them to be successful with their plan.</p>
<p>It’s not like Chenle is all bad. He’s approachable, and he’s really smart. Talking to him can be pretty fun. The only downside is that he doesn’t let this one thing go because he enjoys annoying people.</p>
<p>“Chenle, I dare you to shut up,” Donghyuck defends him, and Yangyang doesn’t know exactly how he’s going to thank him for it. But he will. He didn’t have any sleep last night, he cannot do it on his own today. He’s already tired enough.</p>
<p>“Only if we get to talk about your kink for older men,” Chenle responds.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a kink, you brat.”</p>
<p>“What about…” Jaemin attempts, raising an eyebrow. He gets cut off promptly.</p>
<p>“Keep my man’s name out of your mouth,” Donghyuck warns. It resembles a joke, but it’s serious too.</p>
<p>“The professor’s here,” Sungchan warns, making the conversation end. The subject won’t be forgotten, he’s sure that tomorrow it’ll be more of the same. But he’s happy that it’s getting dropped for now.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>About a year ago, when Yangyang first found the apartment, he knew there was going to be a catch. It just couldn’t be that easy. The apartment’s nice, it’s at a convenient location, near enough to campus so he can walk there, but not too near which is why it’s mostly calm. In pandemic times, when he doesn’t need to walk to classes, the apartment is still conveniently placed, the stores aren’t too far away. On top of that, the rent and utilities are affordable. It’s air-conditioned so it’s pleasant in both summer and winter, and it that wasn’t enough, his room is a decent size.</p>
<p>The catch wasn’t that Xiaojun was an awful person, which Yangyang figured must be it when he first moved in. Xiaojun isn’t awful at all, he’s… well, the perfect roommate. He keeps to himself, he’s clean and keeps his stuff clean. He can’t cook, but he knows all the best takeout places, which is basically the same thing.</p>
<p>He’s the best roommate Yangyang has had.</p>
<p>Instead, the catch turned out to be that Xiaojun’s attractive. Not just hot, but attractive. He’s kind of shy, he can’t take a compliment, but he’s amazing at back and forth with Yangyang, because he treats him like a little brother. That’s catch number two.</p>
<p>Potential catch number three might be Xiaojun being straight. That’s a completely unconfirmed suspicion that Jaemin has, and Yangyang waits for the moment Xiaojun brings someone home to either confirm or deny it. Until that moment, it’s only Jaemin’s opinion.</p>
<p>An actual catch, that’s become a bother only recently, is the one shared bathroom.</p>
<p>In the past it wasn’t such an issue. Xiaojun had a habit of leaving early so he could meet up with friends before classes, and by the time Yangyang’s alarm went off he was done with the bathroom. The schedules only started clashing when everything was transferred online. Xiaojun doesn’t have to leave early, Yangyang refuses to get up sooner than he needs to.</p>
<p>Getting ready in the morning can be tricky, and it requires a bit of patience and back and forth. They usually manage just fine. Yangyang got a mirror that he has on the desk in his room, so he can do his skin care there, instead of taking his sweet time in the bathroom, and Xiaojun does the same. They make it work. It’s rare when they don’t.</p>
<p>Call it a chance, but they don’t make it work that morning.</p>
<p>In reality, it’s Xiaojun to blame. He wakes up late, and he’s rushing to get ready for classes.</p>
<p>Yangyang is minutes away from finishing up in the bathroom when Xiaojun knocks on the door with a question.</p>
<p>“Hey. What are you doing?”</p>
<p>Yangyang pauses. He takes the toothbrush out of his mouth and spits some of the foam out so he can answer.</p>
<p>“Brushing my teeth.”</p>
<p>“Can you put that on hold for a moment? Please? I really need to pee and I’m late for class.”</p>
<p>What Xiaojun’s asking for doesn’t seem unreasonable at all. Yangyang heads out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, before Xiaojun even finishes talking. The plea was convincing enough.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Yangyang says as he opens the door. The rest of his sentence gets caught in his throat. On the other side he’s greeted by the image of Xiaojun in a beige sweater with a button up under it. He loves it when Xiaojun dresses like that, he looks soft and warm. It makes him swoon. Then he looks down and realizes that Xiaojun doesn’t have any bottoms on, he’s just in his boxers. He sees what appears to be a bulge. What really catches his attention though are Xiaojun’s thighs. Toned, muscular. Shit. Yangyang clears his throat when he meets Xiaojun’s eyes and finally finishes his sentence, “Go ahead.”</p>
<p>“Uh, thanks,” Xiaojun responds, making a face upon seeing Yangyang’s reaction.</p>
<p>He goes inside and closes the door, so Yangyang moves to the side, and leans against the wall next to the door. He hates himself for being so obvious that Xiaojun noticed him look. He’s been so good at hiding the crush.</p>
<p>“You really dressed up for online classes,” he says, hoping Xiaojun is up for a conversation even in the discomfort of the situation. He just needs to talk, he cannot let it remain awkward.</p>
<p>“I woke up late and I didn’t know what to put on.”</p>
<p>“So you went with a church look?” Yangyang remarks. He smiles proudly at the sound of Xiaojun’s laugh. “No, no. That’s a meet the parents look.” Xiaojun laughs again, this time louder than the first.</p>
<p>“You’re right. It is exactly what I wear when I meet my parents.”</p>
<p>“Look ma, I have a fashion sense.” Xiaojun laughs a third time. This must be that holy trinity he keeps hearing of.</p>
<p>The toilet gets flushed and he can hear Xiaojun washing his hands. Thank fuck he’s not one of those guys that forget to wash their hands.</p>
<p>“Look ma, I don’t live in shorts and a shirt,” Xiaojun keeps the joke going when he exits the bathroom. As they’re switching places, Yangyang remembers what he’s dressed in today. And everyday, really.</p>
<p>“Dejun-ge, is that you taking a dig at me?”</p>
<p>Xiaojun smiles at him.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, is it?” he winks at him before he walks away.</p>
<p>Shit. A wink?</p>
<p>Yangyang can feel the warmth in his cheeks.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He can feel the warmth, and his friends will be able to see it, Yangyang knows. He already knows where the conversation is headed before he logs in. He expects Chenle not to shut up about this for the rest of eternity.</p>
<p>Lucky for him, Chenle isn’t online yet when he enters the waiting room. Unlucky for him, the others notice and it all goes exactly like he expected it to.</p>
<p>“What happened to you?” Jaemin asks.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” he says. Denial isn’t enough, though. It never is.</p>
<p>“You’re all red in the face. If you have a fever, you should get tested,” Jeno says to him, concern woven in his voice. Jeno is so wholesome. Yangyang feels like he doesn’t deserve him.</p>
<p>“It’s not a fever.”</p>
<p>“Then what? Did your roommate send you a dick-pic?” Donghyuck asks with a suggestive smile. Their friends groan in response.</p>
<p>“Why would he send a pic? He’s right there,” Renjun returns, pointing out the obvious.</p>
<p>“Did he show you his dick?” Jeno speaks again, still worried.</p>
<p>If Yangyang saw Xiaojun’s dick he’d be in heaven now. Or he’d be hiding under a duvet. Who knows what the situation will be? He can’t be certain what he’ll do, but he knows what he won’t be on a zoom call with his friends.</p>
<p>“No,” he says firmly, but he also backtracks soon after, and lands on the truth, “I just saw his legs.”</p>
<p>“If you’re acting like this over legs…” Jisung notes, but Yangyang can’t hear it. He knows. On the other hand, his friends don’t know exactly what he saw.</p>
<p>“They’re toned, okay. They’re all muscle mass.” Which Yangyang doesn’t get, really. Where does Xiaojun find the time and energy to achieve that? “It’s not just that though. I think Xiaojun flirted with me.” That statement has everyone’s attention for sure. So Yangyang tells them what happened. “He winked at me.”</p>
<p>He sees Renjun roll his eyes, and Donghyuck pinching the bridge of his nose. Jaemin lets out a single ‘ha’ saturated in sarcasm while Jisung snickers at him, and even the newest additions to the friend group — Shotaro and Sungchan — find that odd, making faces at Yangyang’s announcement. Jeno’s the only one nice about it, with his understanding smile.</p>
<p>“Hey Shotaro?” Sungchan calls after him, and when he sees that Shotaro’s looking at the screen he winks at him, “There. Shotaro and I are getting married now.”</p>
<p>Yangyang didn’t know it was possible for him to get more red in the face, but he does, he can see himself on the screen. They’re right. It all sounds so stupid. So… childish.</p>
<p>Conveniently enough, Chenle shows up at that moment, ready to add to Yangyang’s embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Good morning everyone. Today marks 221 days of…”</p>
<p>“Shut up,” Jaemin cuts him off, “the professor just showed up.”</p>
<p>Chenle groans. “Always at the best part.”</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After an entire year of him hiding his growing interest in Xiaojun, Yangyang gives himself away in the most unexpected way.</p>
<p>It happens on a Saturday. They tend to be lazy on Saturdays, sleeping in in the mornings and spending the rest of the day playing video games. Before making themselves comfortable on the couch and turning on the console, they do something much more important — getting supplies for the rest of the weekend. Well, one of them does. They take turns doing it.</p>
<p>This Saturday it’s Yangyang’s turn. He runs to the convenience store two blocks over, and gets drinks and junk food. Something to fuel them while they switch between games, pass levels, and yell at the TV.</p>
<p>Yangyang’s having some sort of premonition, a bad feeling about the day from the moment he wakes up. So he does his best not to remind Xiaojun of what happened just a few days prior. Things seem normal, like they’re past it. He wants to keep it that way. Wanting and achieving seem to be two very different things though, and he achieves the opposite of what he wants the moment he comes back to the apartment.</p>
<p>The reason he will cite for the rest of his life, probably, is that he was surprised. He doesn’t expect to see Xiaojun having already set up for the game. He most definitely doesn’t expect to see Xiaojun with a tank top on, those baggy sweats Yangyang loves seeing him in, and his glasses. Damn, he looks so good with his glasses on.</p>
<p>Yangyang looks at him and he can’t believe what he’s seeing. And as per tradition, Yangyang’s mouth reacts before his brain can register what he’s doing.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Yangyang says. His tone of voice is low but audible. The moment after he says it he begins hoping that the face mask he still has on muffled it at least a little.</p>
<p>Xiaojun looks at him, eyes going wide as he’s probably realizing what he heard and what just happened. And Yangyang can’t believe he just did that.</p>
<p>What’s gotten in him recently? He keeps fucking up lately, giving himself away in silly ways. How can he even get out of this one?</p>
<p>“Did you say wow?”</p>
<p>Caught. He’s so caught.</p>
<p>“Um…” Yangyang begins, hoping he’ll find his way if he buys himself some time, “Yeah. I did,” he nods. That’s when he figures a lie out, “You set up already. Wow. You must be really excited for us to play.”</p>
<p>“I am,” Xiaojun replies, but he sounds hesitant.</p>
<p>If the situation wasn’t awkward enough, Yangyang’s still uncomfortably standing in the living room with the grocery bags in hand. He’s still looking too, it’s not like he can look away from Xiaojun.</p>
<p>“I’ll take care of the groceries, and we’ll start, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Xiaojun says, still sounding hesitant.</p>
<p>Yangyang tries not to cry.</p>
<p>He can’t believe he put his foot in his mouth with such ease.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Things are awkward, Yangyang can’t deny that. Even though they’re playing like they normally would, and basically talking like they usually do, there are moments of silence in between and looks that make it obvious. It’s awkward because Yangyang wowed and then lied, and Xiaojun isn’t stupid, so he doesn’t believe him. Yangyang doesn’t know how to fix this one, how to dig himself out of the hole.</p>
<p>He sits with the uneasy feeling for the rest of the day, both him and Xiaojun pretending nothing happened, and knowing it did at the same time. But Yangyang can’t keep it to himself.</p>
<p>He knows exactly who to tell.</p>
<p>Their gaming energy starts to wind down in the late afternoon. Xiaojun volunteers to clean up, and while Yangyang would usually argue and they’d split it, he doesn’t have the energy for that today. He retreats to his room and texts the group chat of people he trusts more than the rest.</p>
<p>
  <em> Me thinks I fucked up </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What did you do? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> How do you know?<br/>
</em>
  <em>Maybe you didn’t?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I came back home from getting groceries </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And forgot to wash your hands<br/>
</em>
  <em>For at least 20 seconds<br/>
</em>
  <em>Idiot!!!!! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Wtf no?<br/>
</em>
  <em>I washed my hands twice<br/>
</em>
  <em>Can YOU WAIT?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Type faster then </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Can’t believe I’m gonna say this but<br/>
</em>
  <em>^^^<br/>
</em>
  <em>I agree<br/>
</em>
  <em>Ew<br/>
</em>
  <em>Never again</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ANYWAY<br/>
</em>
  <em>I CAME BACK HOME FROM GETTING GROCERIES<br/>
</em>
  <em>It’s saturday so we were gaming with Dejun<br/>
</em>
  <em>BUT<br/>
</em>
  <em>When I came home I saw him and he looked really good today<br/>
</em>
  <em>Soft but also THEM MUSCLES MY GUYS<br/>
</em>
  <em>Devastation luv<br/>
</em>
  <em>Peak devastation<br/>
</em>
  <em>So I kind of wowed without thinking much about it<br/>
</em>
  <em>It was like a reflex</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You wowed? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I wowed </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You wowed<br/>
</em>
  <em>I see</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And he heard me<br/>
</em>
  <em>And now it’s awkward<br/>
</em>
  <em>I tried to get myself out of it<br/>
</em>
  <em>I lied<br/>
</em>
  <em>But he ain’t convinced</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I think I’m losing brain cells from hanging out with you people<br/>
</em>
  <em>WHY DID YOU LIE<br/>
</em>
  <em>THIS WAS YOUR CHANCE TO COME CLEAN</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And then what?<br/>
</em>
  <em>Literally fuck off<br/>
</em>
  <em>Go hang out with your ~boyfriend</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Your jealousy is showing </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Can you two stop?<br/>
</em>
  <em>Can we talk about Yangyang’s problem now<br/>
</em>
  <em>Seriously</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Thank you!!<br/>
</em>
  <em>This is why you and Jeno are my favorite</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Let it be awkward </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I don’t think that’s good advice </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> No<br/>
</em>
  <em>Hear me out<br/>
</em>
  <em>Let it be awkward<br/>
</em>
  <em>Feel him out that way<br/>
</em>
  <em>People kind of expose themselves when shit is awkward<br/>
</em>
  <em>Especially when they’re close like you two are<br/>
</em>
  <em>So let it be awkward, see how he is during this period<br/>
</em>
  <em>If he gives a shit, he’ll make an effort<br/>
</em>
  <em>If not, you’ll know before you say something</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Wait<br/>
</em>
  <em>That actually IS good advice</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Or you’re just whipped<br/>
</em>
  <em>Either or</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I’m ignoring Hyuck and going with what Jaemin said </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Awesome<br/>
</em>
  <em>Though<br/>
</em>
  <em>Just for the record<br/>
</em>
  <em>I still think he’s straight</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Yeah Jaemin<br/>
</em>
  <em>We know<br/>
</em>
  <em>Yang<br/>
</em>
  <em>Whatever you do or happens<br/>
</em>
  <em>We’re here to help<br/>
</em>
  <em>So update us</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I will<br/>
</em>
  <em>While I have you here<br/>
</em>
  <em>If anyone says anything to Chenle<br/>
</em>
  <em>YOU’RE DEAD TO ME</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Clear<br/>
</em>
  <em>Got it</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Good </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> We wouldn’t tell Chenle<br/>
</em>
  <em>He annoys us with it too</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I love the dude<br/>
</em>
  <em>He’s so nice like 90 percent of time<br/>
</em>
  <em>He just needs to shut about some stuff</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Agreed </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Glad we’re all on the same page<br/>
</em>
  <em>Like<br/>
</em>
  <em>I can take the countdown, it’s annoying but it’s a small price to pay<br/>
</em>
  <em>Compared to how nice he is about so many other things<br/>
</em>
  <em>I just don’t want to give him more information<br/>
</em>
  <em>The fire is fueled enough as it is<br/>
</em>
  <em>And if it ever comes time where he is in the same room as Xiaojun<br/>
</em>
  <em>I don’t want him to know that I talk about him<br/>
</em>
  <em>Or that I talk about him like that<br/>
</em>
  <em>We’ve been roommates for like a year<br/>
</em>
  <em>He can’t find out the extent of my feelings from Chenle of all people</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You really like him huh<br/>
</em>
  <em>Like<br/>
</em>
  <em>Really LIKE him<br/>
</em>
  <em>This isn’t the silly crush we thought it was at first</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Since no one else will say it, I will<br/>
</em>
  <em>You really are simping<br/>
</em>
  <em>You like him THAT much</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I’m almost at the other l-word tbh </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Damn Yang<br/>
</em>
  <em>I didn’t think it was that serious</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I didn’t either<br/>
</em>
  <em>Haha<br/>
</em>
  <em>Hahahahaha<br/>
</em>
  <em>But I think I might<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’m realizing some shit these days<br/>
</em>
  <em>That’s one of them<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’ve never been in love before, I think I might be now<br/>
</em>
  <em>Cause like<br/>
</em>
  <em>I can’t imagine what it’d be like if I’m anywhere else right now<br/>
</em>
  <em>With anyone else<br/>
</em>
  <em>I just want to be around Xiaojun<br/>
</em>
  <em>Like fuck<br/>
</em>
  <em>I care about him so much<br/>
</em>
  <em>If he’s not in the best mood then my is ruined too<br/>
</em>
  <em>I don’t know<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’m not making sense<br/>
</em>
  <em>It’s just<br/>
</em>
  <em>HELP??</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I don’t know man<br/>
</em>
  <em>I can’t give you advice for this<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’ve never been there</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Me neither </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> None of us have </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> With one exception though </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I can’t believe that bitch is silent the one time he can actually be useful </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Hyuck<br/>
</em>
  <em>Hyuckie?<br/>
</em>
  <em>HYUCK?<br/>
</em>
  <em>LEE DONGHYUCK OPEN UP<br/>
</em>
  <em>KNOCK KNOCK<br/>
</em>
  <em>Seriously?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Maybe if Renjun was nicer sometimes<br/>
</em>
  <em>This isn’t about you, you know<br/>
</em>
  <em>We’re here for Yangyang this time<br/>
</em>
  <em>Not to watch you two bicker</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> So it’s on me now? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Hyuck-hyung, we need your input<br/>
</em>
  <em>Please</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Jesus<br/>
</em>
  <em>Calm down<br/>
</em>
  <em>Is it important, I’m in the middle of something</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> See?<br/>
</em>
  <em>He was just going down on his boyfriend</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Nana</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Scroll up<br/>
</em>
  <em>Renjun shut up</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Listen<br/>
</em>
  <em>If you feel like you can’t live without him<br/>
</em>
  <em>Like you’re describing without actually saying the words<br/>
</em>
  <em>Then it could be<br/>
</em>
  <em>That’s how I see it<br/>
</em>
  <em>And if that’s how you feel<br/>
</em>
  <em>Own up to it<br/>
</em>
  <em>Please<br/>
</em>
  <em>You’ll either be happy together or you’ll have to move on<br/>
</em>
  <em>But the longer you’re in this limbo of not knowing<br/>
</em>
  <em>The worse it’ll be after</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I’ll think about it </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>LDH</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You do that<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’m gonna go back to going down on the loml now<br/>
</em>
  <em>Renjun<br/>
</em>
  <em>And I can’t stress enough<br/>
</em>
  <em>FUCK YOU</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You’re disgusting<br/>
</em>
  <em>You go down on your boyfriend with THAT mouth<br/>
</em>
  <em>SHAME<br/>
</em>
  <em>FUCK YOU TOO</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Shotaro-san</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And my mom wonders where my innocence went<br/>
</em>
  <em>This fucking group chat<br/>
</em>
  <em>That’s where</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Injunnie</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> We should talk about how Sungchan proposed to you the other day now<br/>
</em>
  <em>We haven’t talked about that yet</em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>King Jeno</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> No we shouldn’t<br/>
</em>
  <em>Leave the guy alone Renjun!</em>
</p>
<p>“Yangyang?”</p>
<p>The knock on his door is Xiaojun, who else would it be. He just doesn’t expect it after the hell that was the afternoon. What more is there to say or do?</p>
<p>Yangyang drops his phone on the mattress and he sits up straighter for no reason. He answers then, “Yeah?”</p>
<p>Xiaojun doesn’t enter his room, he doesn’t even open the door. Instead he addresses Yangyang from right outside.</p>
<p>“The food is here. Let’s eat.”</p>
<p>Right. He allowed himself to forget about it. Dejun won’t let him run away though. Not like he expected him to. He was hoping he’d at least get today.</p>
<p>Now Yangyang has to lie.</p>
<p>“I’m not hungry.”</p>
<p>He swears he hears Xiaojun roll his eyes at him. Impossible yes, but there’s a hint of annoyance in Xiaojun’s voice, and he’s sure it was preceded by an eye-roll. “Don’t be a baby, you haven’t eaten anything proper all day.”</p>
<p>Xiaojun isn’t wrong. But how does he know? Did he actually notice or is he just guessing? Yangyang can’t believe he’s bothered by this. But then again, of course he is. He thinks about what it would be to be romantically cared for by Xiaojun, he can’t not notice it when Xiaojun cares. Even though it’s not romantic this time.</p>
<p>He has to go out and have dinner with Xiaojun, and keep acting like he didn’t wow at him. After dinner he can come back to his room and panic all he wants.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right out,” he returns.</p>
<p>“I’ll set the table.”</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Xiaojun doesn’t swear. Not even when Yangyang went out of his way to annoy the shit out of him in the past. Yangyang frankly thought he’d never witness it. But he does. On a Monday morning, nevertheless.</p>
<p>It’s loud, and very angry. He’s almost scared. When Xiaojun calls after him, asking if he’s awake, he’s a bit scared. Except for that wow last weekend, he hasn’t done anything wrong, so it can’t be something he’s done. The curse throws him off. Xiaojun has a way of keeping him on his toes lately.</p>
<p>“What’s up?”</p>
<p>This time Xiaojun doesn’t stay outside the door of Yangyang’s room. He opens it, and walks in.</p>
<p>“You know how I’ve said in the past that it’s weird you have two computers?” Xiaojun says, a timid smile on his lips.</p>
<p>“I remember.”</p>
<p>“Well, I was wrong. Can I borrow your laptop?” he asks. The little pout on his lips causes a flurry in Yangyang’s head. What was the question again? Oh, right. “The power cable is messing with me today, I need to get a new one. But I can’t miss the lecture. Would you be nice enough to let me borrow your laptop?”</p>
<p>Yangyang says yes. He doesn’t think ahead.</p>
<p>He only remembers the possibility of Xiaojun seeing some of the messages where he talks about him to his friends after he hands his laptop over and turns his PC on. He’s oh-so relaxed until the first thing that shows up on his screen is the group chat, the way it always does. Only then he remembers he was reading the thing Jaemin and Donghyuck said about him and Dejun and he left it just like that. So he can revise in the morning.</p>
<p>Shit. It’s part two of how could he be so stupid. It’s worse than him wowing as a reaction to seeing Xiaojun. He admits everything in the chat.</p>
<p>Maybe Xiaojun won’t look. Maybe he’ll just close the window cause he respects Yangyang’s privacy. Maybe.</p>
<p>Or maybe Yangyang’s just a hopeful idiot who should’ve known better. Maybe.</p>
<p>Yangyang barely concentrates during his lectures. He’s there, but not really. The guys notice, and when he asks them to talk about something else, they respect his wish. Even Chenle. Yangyang thought Chenle would protest.</p>
<p>Any hope that Xiaojun didn’t look dies when Xiaojun returns the laptop. The look on his face says more than enough.</p>
<p>It’s as close to rejection as Yangyang can get without coming clean about his feelings.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Xiaojun says to him, looking everywhere except his eyes.</p>
<p>This is what he was most afraid of.</p>
<p>“Anytime,” he returns before retreating to his room.</p>
<p>Xiaojun pretends like nothing happened by the end of the day. He tries to be his normal self, getting dinner, reminding Yangyang that it’s his turn to do the dishes. But Yangyang can tell that it’s bothering him.</p>
<p>He really needs to stop fucking up.</p>
<p>He has an answer now. He needs to move on.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Saying he needs to move on and actually moving on are two very different things, but Yangyang likes to act like they’re two sides of the same coin, and the more he says that he’s moving on, the sooner he’ll do it. He’ll manifest the shit out of it.</p>
<p>But it doesn’t work that way.</p>
<p>It only hits him that it’s not working about a week later.</p>
<p>He’s setting up for dinner because it’s his turn, and because Xiaojun had a really stressful day. He didn’t want to talk about it, which Yangyang respects, but he worries more because Xiaojun won’t say anything. Not that Yangyang expects him to, he just wishes he said something. He wishes he could help him somehow besides the lowly chores around the apartment. They’re roommates and quarantine buddies for this exact reason.</p>
<p>Xiaojun comes out of the bathroom in a red sweat suit, with strands of wet hair sticking to his forehead. Yangyang looks away immediately, not allowing the thoughts about Xiaojun looking cute and soft to set in, that way he stops himself from wowing. Out loud at least. He does the dishes instead of looking, clearing the sink from the dirty ones so he’ll have less dishes to do after dinner. He looks at the soapy water, he’s very focused on it even when Xiaojun addresses him.</p>
<p>“Did the food arrive?”</p>
<p>“Not yet,” he responds, “Three more minutes and the pizza is free.”</p>
<p>“Nice,” Xiaojun says, his voice sounding a bit more cheerful than it did an hour ago. It makes him look up. Screw it. He’ll wow if he has to, he also has to know how Xiaojun is feeling. That’s exactly what he asks.</p>
<p>“Are you feeling better now?”</p>
<p>“I am,” Xiaojun seconds it with a nod, “Thank you, Yangyang.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t do anything.”</p>
<p>“You care about me,” Xiaojun meets his eyes, so Yangyang looks away again. He’s both shy and terrified about it, and Xiaojun’s persistent so he takes a step closer, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>He noticed?</p>
<p>Yangyang feels the warmth in his cheeks, and he senses it start to move throughout his body. He’s getting hot. He’s going to melt down into a puddle from the heat and going to embarrass himself. He can’t do that. Not right now when Xiaojun’s not feeling the best.</p>
<p>He’s supposed to be moving on. He needs to move on. He can’t let this one moment when Xiaojun notices him change his mind.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“How does a person move on?”</p>
<p>Yangyang starts an emergency Skype call with Jeno and Donghyuck. He calls Donghyuck because he’s the friend he’s closest with. He also has experience and he’ll give him decent advice. Jeno because he’s his other best friend. And Jeno is nice, he’ll soften the harshness of what Donghyuck has to say. Hyuck never holds back. He needs exactly that, but he’s sensitive today so... a healthy balance.</p>
<p>He puts his headphones on, locks his door so he can have privacy. He feels comfortable enough to talk about everything he hasn’t said.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Donghyuck asks him, sounding exasperated. Jeno gives him a look, to which Hyuck rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“I lent Dejun my laptop the other day. He might or might not have read that group chat where I talked about l-wording him because I have it open on startup,” Yangyang explains. His attention is drawn to Jeno putting his head in his hands. Donghyuck tsks at him next. Yeah, that’s exactly how Yangyang’s been feeling ever since it happened, “He didn’t say anything. I think that counts as a rejection.”</p>
<p>“I think that counts as I don’t know why we’re friends sometimes,” Donghyuck tells him.</p>
<p>“We need to have a very long conversation about how you don’t think about what you’re doing,” Jeno speaks calmly, but it sounds like Yangyang’s getting reprimanded, “You have to think ahead about what you do. There are consequences.”</p>
<p>“When will you learn,” Donghyuck mocks in a high-pitched voice, then changes to his normal tone before he says, “Okay boomer, we get it.”</p>
<p>Usually, Yangyang wouldn’t mind this back and forth. But he had an hour of overthinking right before this, so it’s not an option. He needs to get some actual serious advice before he goes down the path of overanalyzing everything he did that day, where he went wrong, and how he can stop making things worse. How can he stop liking Xiaojun and move on?</p>
<p>It shouldn’t be that hard to find the answer to that question.</p>
<p>“Help me,” Yangyang pleads, “I said nothing and I still got rejected. I don’t know what to do.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t get rejected though. You don’t even know what happened for sure,” Jeno states the obvious.</p>
<p>“He’s right.” Yangyang knows he is right. But for some reason his body doesn’t want to believe it. “In order to get rejected, you need to come clean first.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Let’s say I do come clean, and then I get rejected. How do I move on then?”</p>
<p>“You’re asking the wrong question,” Jeno says, “You should be asking how to move on from someone you have a life with.”</p>
<p>“I’m not qualified to give that advice,” Donghyuck announces. That has never stopped him in the past, though.</p>
<p>“Me neither,” Jeno agrees.</p>
<p>They sit in silence for a few seconds. Yangyang can see both his friends thinking about the issue, Jeno with furrowed eyebrows, staring down at his keyboard, and Hyuck looking around his living room. That’s when Hyuck’s eyes go wide.</p>
<p>“I know who to ask,” he says, and the realization strikes him and Jeno too. Of course he’d do that. “Babe?” Hyuck calls after his boyfriend.</p>
<p>Yangyang hasn’t met Taeil-hyung face to face, only through video chats like this one. Hyuck hid him for about a year — they knew he was dating a Taeil, and that was about it. Yangyang knew a bit more than that because they’re so close, but he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. Hyuck cited Renjun’s inability to shut up about Hyuck’s love life as the reason why he did it, and now it’s obvious why. Renjun mentions it a lot.</p>
<p>Hyuck only came clean about the relationship once the pandemic was in full swing, when a week into classes the room from which he attended classes changed to one no one had seen before. Especially not Jaemin and Renjun, who have been to his previous apartment.</p>
<p>The formal introduction strategically happened in the waiting room before class, so no one could mock Donghyuck for too long, or bring it up again till the end of class. Taeil-hyung has been nothing but nice to all of them in all interactions. He’s the same as Donghyuck and the complete opposite at the same time. If Yangyang had a choice, he doesn’t want to bother him with this so he wouldn’t do it. But he’s desperate. He really needs to know what to do.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” they hear Taeil-hyung’s voice. He shows up on the screen moments later, he sits down on the couch next to Hyuck and Hyuck moves the laptop so they can see him.</p>
<p>“Yangyang has a problem. He’s in love with someone he’s close with and he needs to move on,” Jeno explains quickly.</p>
<p>“How close with?” Taeil-hyung asks. He’s already looking at the screen, expecting an answer when both Jeno and Hyuck do the same. Yangyang hesitates to answer, “Who are you in love with, Yangyang?”</p>
<p>Like a band-aid.</p>
<p>“My roommate.”</p>
<p>“I see.” Taeil clears his throat and looks at Hyuck, as if he’s asking for permission before he says it. Is it that bad? “There’s only one way, if you ask me. I don’t think you’ll like it though,” he says. Yangyang nods. He’s ready for whatever it is, even though he has a feeling it won’t be an answer he likes. “To move on you’ll need to move out. I’m not saying out of sight, out of mind, that doesn’t work. I know the times are weird and we’re all doing our best, so it might not be an option. At the same time, the pandemic is why you should do it. As long as you’re there and stuck with each other you’ll be stuck with your feelings.”</p>
<p>Move out. It makes so much sense. Simple, yet impossible.</p>
<p>Taeil-hyung’s right about the entire thing. Including the fact that Yangyang doesn’t like the answer he gets.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Move out. <em> Move out. </em></p>
<p>The advice is true, but it’s not helpful. Yangyang can’t move out, and not just because there’s a pandemic making things harder, or the fact that the apartment is perfect for his needs. He can get over that and squeeze himself in some room somewhere. It’s just that he can’t afford to do that. And not just with time and energy.</p>
<p>There has to be another way, he decides. If there isn’t then he’ll just suck it up. He already said that he can’t imagine a life without Xiaojun, so he won’t try it. It’s better to be miserable with him and without him.</p>
<p>So Yangyang continues with how things are. When his heart flutters, or when he gets butterflies in his stomach, he pretends not to notice. When he starts thinking about Dejun, he makes himself stop by distracting himself.</p>
<p>He’s successful for most of the week. And then Saturday comes, and he can’t avoid Xiaojun, or distract himself so easily.</p>
<p>This time it’s his turn to set up and Xiaojun’s the one that goes shopping. Yangyang jumps in the shower first. He can set up the console in his sleep and he’s quick too, so he decides to do it after. He needs the shower to think and clear his head. He hasn’t taken a shower in an empty apartment in months. It’s different when the apartment’s empty. He can sing in the shower and talk to himself. He can hear his own thoughts said out loud, that way he can decide if they’re idiotic or not.</p>
<p>The shower really helps him. He talks to himself for a bit, he acknowledges what he feels, and does a very convincing monologue about how he needs to suck it up and stop thinking about Dejun in that way. He comes out of the shower feeling much better. He’s refreshed, he feels easier than he did an hour ago.</p>
<p>He’s confident that he can move on because he knows that there’s nothing to hope for anymore. It won’t happen between them. Ever.</p>
<p>Then that certainty that there’s nothing between them goes away. It evaporates, joins the shower steam and they both leave through the air vents together.</p>
<p>Because the first thing he hears when he walks out of the bathroom is a soft yet exasperated “Fuck.” It sounds exactly like him wowing a few weeks ago.</p>
<p>He looks at Xiaojun, at the panic on his face as his eyes dart between the towel wrapped around Yangyang’s waist and the look on Yangyang’s face. It’s the same as it was for him. The only difference is that Yangyang is practically naked right now, the towel on his waist being the only protection.</p>
<p>He wonders how he should play this. He decides to play it the same way Xiaojun did.</p>
<p>“Did you say something?” he asks.</p>
<p>“Fuck I forgot my wallet. I only remembered when I got to the store so I had to come back.”</p>
<p>The denial. It’s all so familiar to Yangyang.</p>
<p>“Fuck indeed,” he responds. He’s not gonna push further. He knows exactly how difficult it was for him, and he won’t put Xiaojun in the situation. Besides, he’s freaking out at the moment. He needs to find some chill before he can even think about having the conversation they should obviously have.</p>
<p>“I got my wallet now. I’ll go get the things I was going to get,” Xiaojun’s voice trails off.</p>
<p>He’s staring. Yangyang’s staring back.</p>
<p>“I’ll get dressed and set up.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Yangyang watches Xiaojun walk out of the apartment before he runs to his room with the widest smile on his face.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Once in his room, Yangyang adds Donghyuck and Jeno on a Skype call right away, he doesn’t think twice. He needs to tell them what happened. He needs their advice. Most of all, he needs someone to tell him how he can go about finally having the conversation. This is going to be really, really tricky, he decides. They both tried to deny it. Coming clean will take some effort.</p>
<p>He sets the laptop on the dresser and starts rummaging through to find something to wear. Something nicer than his usual shorts and shirt.</p>
<p>The boys answer the call almost immediately, with Donghyuck being the first. Yangyang’s really glad that he’s awake cause he tends to sleep in.</p>
<p>“Why is your camera off?” Hyuck asks.</p>
<p>“I’m naked right now. I’m getting dressed,” he answers as he pulls out a pair of underwear and throws them on the bed. The socks are next.</p>
<p>“Kinky,” Hyuck jokes.</p>
<p>“Jaemin’s here,” Jeno speaks next, “Is it okay if he listens, or do you need a private audience?”</p>
<p>It’s not a ‘the more the merrier’ type of situation, but Jaemin is an exception. Plus, he was wrong, and Yangyang can’t wait to tell him that he was wrong.</p>
<p>“It’s more than okay,” he says. The socks land on the bed, and he opens the shirt drawer. Then he asks, “Remember how I wowed at Dejun?”</p>
<p>“Remember? Boy I spend every day trying to forget. I can’t describe the amount of second-hand embarrassment I felt that day,” Hyuck teases him. He doesn’t mind it right now. He’s the good kind of nervous and practically on cloud nine. He’s untouchable.</p>
<p>Yangyang can’t wait to tell them.</p>
<p>“Well, he did the same for me just now. But instead of wow, he cursed.” His friends are silent for a moment, so Yangyang decides to answer the question he knows is coming next. “I just came out of the shower, in case you were wondering.”</p>
<p>“Turn the camera on. Show us wet-haired Yang,” Hyuck teases again.</p>
<p>“Huh,” Jaemin finally speaks up, “I really thought he was straight. Maybe he’s not.”</p>
<p>Yangyang never thought that ‘maybe’ could be a funny word, but right now it is. Cause maybe Xiaojun isn’t straight, and maybe Yangyang’s gaydar wasn’t off. Maybe. He’ll find out soon enough.</p>
<p>“Can we help in any way?” Jeno asks him then.</p>
<p>“Yes, please,” he answers, sounding a bit more excited than normal because  he finds the perfect shirt to put on. “Minutes before it happened I talked myself into keeping my mouth shut about it for the rest of eternity. Now I need a pep talk to have the conversation. Lay it on me boys.”</p>
<p>Yangyang grabs the pair of sweatpants that make his waist look tiny and he looks up on the screen. Jaemin gives Jeno a smile, and Jeno looks at the camera and nods.</p>
<p>“Okay Hyuckie, take it away,” he says next.</p>
<p>Donghyuck clears his throat and smiles. Then he begins.</p>
<p>“With pleasure. Listen here, you little bitch. I’ve been saving this one since you first met Xiaojun.”</p>
<p>Yangyang’s so glad to have his friends in his life.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>On day 247 Yangyang finally does something about it.</p>
<p>Xiaojun returns from the store while Yangyang is finishing setting up for the game. It’s just as awkward as it was when the tables were turned, if not slightly more. Xiaojun says hi, but he refuses to look at him. He suspected that would be the case, so he’s not taking it seriously. Dejun’s in panic mode, Yangyang completely understands.</p>
<p>He allows him to have a few minutes to adjust to the situation. While Xiaojun unpacks what he bought, wipes it down with an alcohol wipe, and washes his hands for the third time since he came home, Yangyang stays quiet. He observes. He prepares himself for the conversation.</p>
<p>It’s inevitable. It has to happen today. And Yangyang knows he’ll have to be the one that brings it up.</p>
<p>He waits until Xiaojun is sitting next to him on the couch with a controller in hand.</p>
<p>“I think we should talk,” he says. Xiaojun looks at the TV and clicks at the controller, not acknowledging what Yangyang said. It’s exactly what Yangyang would’ve done if Dejun brought it up that day when he let it slip. So he sweeps everything he prepared away, and he follows his instinct as he continues, “About what happened.”</p>
<p>“What happened,” Xiaojun repeats.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Yangyang says. He refuses to accept Xiaojun’s indifference. So he confesses. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a really long time. And I think that you like me too.” The confession makes Xiaojun finally look at him. “Am I wrong to think that you like me too?”</p>
<p>Yangyang swallows, awaiting Dejun's answer.</p>
<p>“You’re not wrong.”</p>
<p>Oh. Okay. It’s happening.</p>
<p>“Then what are we going to do about it?” Yangyang asks. The answer he gets doesn’t contain any words.</p>
<p>Xiaojun looks at his lips, and Yangyang can see him gulp. Xiaojun scoots over, he places a hand on Yangyang’s thigh and leans in. Yangyang puts his hand on Xiaojun’s nape. He closes his eyes and leans towards the kiss, meeting Xiaojun half-way.</p>
<p>It’s so intense. Yangyang feels like his senses are overwhelmed. He hears and feels things differently. They’re clearer than before. His heartbeat speeds up, it becomes so fast and loud that he’s afraid Xiaojun might hear it.</p>
<p>Xiaojun kisses beautifully. When daydreaming Yangyang imagined it would be shy and uncertain at first, but it’s the opposite. It’s almost hungry.</p>
<p>Yangyang’s never been kissed like this before.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” he mutters when Xiaojun pulls away, at the same time as Xiaojun breathes out “Wow.”</p>
<p>The roles have switched.</p>
<p>“So?” Yangyang asks.</p>
<p>Xiaojun stands up. He reaches out for the controller Yangyang gripped in his other hand moments prior, and takes it away. He takes both of Yangyang’s hands, prompting him to stand up. He kisses him again then, hungrier than the previous one, and Yangyang knows. There’s no going back from this.</p>
<p>“Can we?” Xiaojun asks him, the implication obvious on his face.</p>
<p>“Yes, please.”</p>
<p>Xiaojun lifts him up, putting both hands on his thighs while Yangyang wraps his legs around his waist. He carries him to his room, places Yangyang on his bed with caution. It’s not the rough movements Yangyang expected, but they have time to get to that.</p>
<p>“I really, really like you,” Xiaojun tells him. He hovers over Yangyang and kisses his lips, right after confessing.</p>
<p>“I really, really like you too,” he responds once Xiaojun moves onto trailing kisses on his neck.</p>
<p>He can feel him smiling between each kiss.</p>
<p>It’s so much better than Yangyang imagined it would be.</p>
<p>  </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Day 249 of Yangyang simping over his roommate,” Chenle snickers.</p>
<p>“Oh, Chenle, if only you knew how wrong you are,” Jaemin smiles back at him. Hyuck winks at the camera and Yangyang has a feeling it’s meant for him. His friends are as excited to correct Chenle as he is.</p>
<p>“Why? What happened?”</p>
<p>“It’s actually day 3 since me and Xiaojun started dating,” Yangyang tells him. The waiting room congratulates him for it.</p>
<p>“Thank fuck. If I got past 300 I would’ve asked Xiaojun out for you,” Chenle tells him. Wait. He wasn’t just mocking him? “Congratulations. Finally. Now it’s Sungchan’s turn.”</p>
<p>“Wait, what did I do?”</p>
<p>“Barely anything. That’s the problem, my guy.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>do let me know your thoughts. kudos and comments make me happy</p>
<p>if you want to chat or to get spoilers for upcoming fics you can find me here: <a href="https://twitter.com/newct127">twt</a> | <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/newct127">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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